Announcing a pregnancy at 19.5 weeks

 I never imagined waiting so long to announce that we were finally pregnant with another child. A child that we had been praying to have for the last two years. We announced to our parents when I was 7.5 weeks pregnant with John Charles, and then we told friends and family at 13 weeks. We began telling people I was pregnant with Jillian when I was 9 weeks pregnant. 

A miscarriage in the family changes things. We’ve known that for 6 years now ourselves. But an infant loss in the family changes things in a whole other way, especially when you’re already 12 weeks pregnant when it happens. I couldn’t imagine a way to tell our exciting news while my family was still grieving a huge loss. It didn’t seem fair to tell them before 24 weeks and make them anxiously hold their breath until I reached gestational viability. I hope that doesn’t seem selfish on our part that we held on to good news. We were thrilled, but we couldn’t see how to ask others to be excited during their grief. 

So we waited. And continued to pray. Prayed for my family as they grieved and learned to live with that grief. Prayed for the new life growing inside me. Prayed for forgiveness from those that aren’t understanding about us choosing to wait to share our news. Prayed for our children to be excited about the gender of this baby. Our daughter has been asking for a baby “gurl” and her mind is made up. 

We began praying for another child when Jillian was about a year old. I have always wanted my children close in age, a blessing we received with our first two being 19 months apart. Six months later, we were thrown into this COVID pandemic. Another six months of constantly analyzing COVID exposures and trying to keep our family safe, and I began the most difficult year of teaching I had ever experienced. Halfway through, the school year, I’m planning my sons 4th birthday party and it hit me. John Charles and our next child were going to be at least 4 years and 9 months apart! We spent two months working with my OB, but we had no success. During this time, we learned our family experienced a miscarriage. Such a hard situation and one we’ve walked before. At this point, vaccines would be available to me within a short time, so we decided to make an appointment with our fertility specialist as soon as I received the first vaccine. 

We met over a webEx, actually Brandon did, while I listened on the phone. (Wonderful perks of having most sites blocked while at work! We didn’t realize there would be an issue on my work computer until appointment time.) We made a game plan and figured out a sneaky way to get the kids taken care of while we drove to Jackson a few weeks later. The medicine hadn’t worked as well as it needed to, so we had to come back two days later, again, not disclosing our travel plans to others. And then figured out another reason for the kids to need to spend the night just a few days after that while we went for the first IUI. We found out April 26th that the IUI had failed. Later that week, we found out our family would be adding a new baby. It was difficult to be happy in the moment, but I was joyful for them. I was grateful for being told over the Internet instead of in-person. It was easier to hide my emotions, although I know I didn’t hide it as well as I’d have liked.

We started the process over again. Higher dose of medicine. When we went to the specialist, it had worked so much better this time. We had to come back the very next day (two days in a row that we had to figure out childcare without telling why!) He felt much more confident about the IUI and thankfully, it worked. 

Now, we’re on the other side of the situation, except it’s so much worse. It’s not a failed IUI but a 24 week stillbirth. It was hard. I have cried so many tears. I had been so excited about cousins being only 12 weeks apart! I had already envisioned play dates and holidays of fun ahead. Dreams that were shattered in an instant with a phone call while we were driving through Ruston. I’ll never forget the grief that washed over me at that moment. I’m honestly not sure which was worse, receiving the news of my miscarriage or this loss. 

We decided to tell family when I was 19.5 week along because I could no longer hide my pregnancy bump. The following weekend, we attended the funeral for our precious nephew we won’t meet on this Earth. I felt so guilty and didn’t understand why that baby didn’t survive and mine (so far) had. I already had two healthy babies. Was it fair for me to want more? We were so excited for our precious baby on the way, but the grief some days was so heavy. We survived through prayer and our friends interceding on our behalf. There’s no other way. 

Jericho’s Birth Story

 Labor story 

In early November, I began having issues with my blood pressure. I began taking medicine to help, which resulted in needing weekly ultrasounds the last few weeks of my pregnancy. They wanted me to closely monitor Jericho’s movements, and the ultrasounds were to check his breathing and my fluid levels. 

At my 36 week appointment, I was a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced. Dr. Wilson mentioned I was a good candidate for an induction, but I reminded him I was hoping to wait until I went into labor on my own. I especially hoped Jericho would come on his due date 2-2-22! 

At my 37 week appointment, I was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Dr. Wilson suggested a induction on January 24th, and I asked if it was medically necessary or just a suggestion. Based on my ultrasound, he felt that we could continuing waiting until closer to my due date. The ultrasound technician measured my fluid twice and she mentioned that my fluid was a little low, so I really needed to increase the water I was drinking each day.

The doctors office called and canceled my 38 week appointment. I later learned it was almost definitely due to COVID and low staffing that week.

I had a sinking feeling that I was going to be delivering Jericho a bit sooner than I had hoped, so I made sure to pack all of the bags and load my car with everything before my 39 week appointment. I was worn out! Thursday at school, I asked some of my students to switch seats with me, so that I could sit by the window. They were happy to sit at my desk, and my other students were happy I was sitting further back in the classroom while they worked on their assignment for the day. 

At my 39 week appointment, we were supposed to see Dr. Wilson at 3:30 before the ultrasound at 4:00, but as we continued waiting, I figured out he wanted to know what the ultrasound said before I saw him. We got to see Jericho’s sweet face the best we had seen it! The ultrasound technician said based on the measurements, he was about 8 lbs 3 oz. She measured my fluid three different times and when I asked how it looked since it was a little low last week, she said I was full term, so it should be lower! She escorted us around to Dr. Wilson’s nurse. It didn’t seem odd, at first, that she walked us all the way the office, but then she came into the exam room with us! 

Dr. Wilson explained that because my blood pressure was elevated again at 140/92 (even on the medicine) and my fluid was at 5.1 and 5 is considered low, he strongly encouraged me to go to the hospital “right away” to be induced that evening. The ultrasound technician also agreed that it was time; she was worried about me waiting any longer before delivering Jericho. Dr. Wilson was fine waiting until Friday morning; however, he was heading out of town, so if I wanted to have him deliver Jericho, I didn’t need to wait until the morning. I looked at Brandon, who responded with “I’m not the doctor. I think we trust the doctor on these things!” Dr. Wilson told me he would meet me at Glenwood in about 30 minutes, long enough to go home and get my bags. Thankfully, since my car was already packed, all I had to do was communicate to my administrator and coworkers that I would not be at work and then drove my car next door to the parking lot! Brandon, on the other hand, had to drive home to get his bag. Apparently, even though I had told him to pack his bag, he didn’t believe it was really •that• time!

I went to the hospital and checked in. Brandon arrived and my mom helped him bring everything to the room. Dr. Wilson broke my water, and it definitely wasn’t quite as much fluid as what I remember from my other pregnancies. He said it was a very small trickle. Looking back, I may have had a few contractions through the day, but they were not painful. I did start having contractions after he broke my water. Meanwhile, Brandon was working on his laptop trying to finish things up with work. When I got my epidural at 6:30PM, they had him move in front of me, so I had to stare at him working while getting my epidural. Lovely! Thankfully, about the time they finished, Brandon finished work for the evening. 

I asked about supper and the nurses said I couldn’t eat! I said “but I didn’t eat breakfast and only had a package of peanut butter crackers for lunch! I’m hungry!!” For both other deliveries, we have arrived at the hospital in the middle of the night and by breakfast time, I’ve already delivered, it never occurred to me that I couldn’t eat after I arrived at the hospital. They provided me with plenty of ice chips and I happily crunched on them as loudly as I could while Brandon ate his subway sandwich. 

The nurses came in periodically to check on me. They asked if I was willing to try different things to speed things along. I told them I was up for whatever they thought would work! By 11:40, I was at 6 cm. I will admit, I did not have any pains associated with my contractions this time around, since they let me get the epidural right away. 

Dr. Wilson came in around 12:30AM or so, once the nurses alerted him that I was getting close. It’s always a bit of a blur when they start prepping the room! After just 2-3 counts to 10, Jericho was born! 1:10AM on Friday! Thankfully, I didn’t tear or require stitches. Dr. Wilson did comment that I didn’t lose much blood. Everything looked great with Jericho. 7 lbs 12 oz and 20 3/4 inches long. 

Dr. Wilson came to check on us Friday morning before heading out of town for the weekend. I admitted to him that the induction really wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be! I had no horror story experience for sure. Dr. Wilson said he was really glad we decided to induce when we did. He said if we had waited until Monday, “I’m not sure that we would have found a heartbeat.” I don’t think I realized just how bad my blood pressure and low fluid had gotten until that moment. Wow! How grateful I am for my medical team to make sure we had a safe delivery and healthy baby. 

We learned that the blood pressure medicine I was on necessitated Jericho’s blood to be checked every 3 hours so that his blood sugar levels could be checked for the first 24 hours. At one point, they suggested supplementing with formula, but when I said I really wanted to avoid that, they said as long as it didn’t drop any further, we wouldn’t. When we checked it the next time, it was still holding!! I was so grateful for that, even if Jericho was a lazy nursing baby. 

By Friday evening at 11PM, Jericho had lost about 6 oz and Saturday at 2AM, his bilirubin level was 7.7. He was a little jaundiced and so the nursery doctor really didn’t want him to leave just yet. However, his levels weren’t dangerously high and we had an appointment scheduled for Monday morning, so we were able to be discharged Saturday evening around 7:30!

The whole time we were in the hospital, we didn’t have any visitors due to the COVID policy. I was grateful for the policy because it meant we could rest a bit more; however, 48 hours at the hospital with no visitors was really hard! The biggest disappointment was that John Charles and Jillian weren’t allowed to come meet their baby brother. I told Brandon that I really wanted them to get to meet Jericho first. Jillian had prayed for a baby for so long, and they were both so excited to get to meet Jericho. It was harder to convince some of the other family of the plan, but thankfully, they agreed to wait. The hardest part ended up being food! Brandon couldn’t leave and come back with food, and the hospital food is always hit or miss, and often not enough. I did not anticipate having as much trouble with planning food out while in the hospital, but it worked out fine!

Once we got home, Jericho and I got situated in our room. Brandon brought John Charles and Jillian back to meet Jericho. The sweetness about broke my heart!! Any time I needed a sweet memory, I could watch the video where John Charles met Jillian for the first time. I wanted this same moment captured on video and they did not disappoint! John Charles and Jillian were both so happy to meet Jericho!

Afterwards, we walked up front to let Lolli and Pop meet Jericho. Jillian began rolling out her blanket, so that she could put Jericho in it and carry him around the house! We had to explain that while Jericho may look like her baby doll, she was not allowed to carry him like she could her dolls. John Charles pulled out a monster truck and asked when Jericho was going to be able to play with him and the monster truck. They both quickly learned that the main thing you will do for a bit is eat, sleep, and make dirty diapers. Oh, and cry!

Monday, at 9AM, we had your first check up. You were down to 7lbs 2 oz, 13.5 inch head circumference, and 20 inches long. I wasn’t terribly concerned with you being down 10 oz, and by the next appointment 8 days later, you had gained plenty of weight!

This is the third delivery, and all three have been different! I definitely felt the most prepared for this last minute induction, and I recovered much more quickly than I did from Jillian’s birth. I think it might have been an easier birth than John Charles, if not very similar. We were at the hospital for less than 8.5 hours before delivery, so Jericho has been the quickest on that front. However, we spent the most time at the hospital before birth this time. While I don’t feel that it went how I had hoped, I felt like the delivery was great. It worked out perfectly fine, and now we have TWO January baby boys!